Personal Experiences with Rape Culture

I started this blog because I know I have many personal experiences with rape culture and I know many other people do too. I think those experiences should be shared. If you have an experience I would love for you to share it, the submission button is always open. Anything I've written myself is tagged "rcr" if you're interested in tracking it and my "about me" can be found here
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I posted last week asking people if they knew of some good resources for male victims of sexual assault. Here is the list people came up with:

Thanks everyone!

(via pardonmewhileipanic)


Warning: this opinion is about rape

Hello, tumblr. My name is Jack. I’m 17 years old. As you can tell by my name, I’m a guy. And last year, I was raped by my older male neighbor. I’d put my tumblr URL here, but I’ve received some disturbing and frankly borderline triggering messages in regards to my rape, so I’d rather not risk it. I hope you understand.

Introductions aside…

When I first went through my rape, all the supportive posts on tumblr about male rape victims was very comforting. I’m glad people acknowledged that guys could be raped and that they matter.


I eventually had much more bitter feelings towards these posts when I noticed a certain trend with them: almost all of them belittled female rape victims in some way.

Just because someone is talking about girls/women getting raped doesn’t mean you need to derail it with “guys get raped too!”. As long as nobody is denying that fact, it’s unnecessary. Not every conversation about rape has to include all demographics of rape victims. There can be posts about male rape victims only, and there can also be posts about female rape victims only. 

It seems like people also act like female rape victims have it soooo easy and should just shut the fuck up, because male rape victims have it harder. A lot of women in my life including my friends and my sister have been raped, and it isn’t any easier for them. They still are told they deserved it, not given the legal attention they deserve, and accused of being liars and bitter sluts. That doesn’t sound easy to me. Male rape victims deal with a unique stigma as well (as in, some people don’t even believe we can get raped, which sucks) but that doesn’t mean it’s much easier for the ladies.

And another thing, why can’t tumblr have one nice photoset or post about male rape victims without some dumbass commenting “Because they’re men, nobody will care” or “This won’t get nearly as many notes as the female version”? Uh, shut the fuck up? You’re ruining the powerful message behind the post. And also, rape isn’t a fucking contest.

This not only pisses me off because I care about women and female rape victims, but it also pisses me off because I get the impression these people don’t actually give a shit about male rape victims at all. They only seem to use us as a prop in arguments to derail discussions of feminism, female victims, etc. by using a vulnerable group who has been through a horrible trauma. How sick is that?

While it’s important to spread awareness of other types of rapes besides male on female, there’s way to do so without derailing or talking over other victims.

So, as a tl;dr to this opinion: if the only time you talk about male rape victims is in some way to downplay or belittle women getting raped, then fuck you. You are a piece of shit, nothing more.

We deserve to be mentioned in our own posts rather than in derailment, and women who have been deserve a chance to talk about their experience without someone derailing saying men can get raped too when nobody was denying that fact. Fuck. You.

(via the-orb-weaver)



my pussy is not a whitmans sampler - you do not get to try me.


(via geewillikersguys)




People are boycotting Kraft just because of this one ad




no one










these ones?

Wow, when you put it that way it almost seems like we live in a rampantly sexist, misogynistic, and hypocritical society.

Yes we do my friend. Yes we do.

(via mistressmary)

Hi! I started a blog called "nonbinaryselfcare" for survivors of sexual assault and abusive relationships and friendships. I made it for the nonbinary community, but anyone at all is welcome to follow and ask for advice or simply tell their stories. Thank you :)
rapeculturerealities rapeculturerealities Said:


Signal boost!


catcalls and other street harassment are a form of violence and expressed hatred for women and don’t ever think of it as anything but that because a man on the street can go from “hey baby you look sexy tonight” to “bitch don’t fucking ignore me” in .002 seconds
it’s not about appreciating a woman’s beauty or boosting her ego with a little compliment, it’s intimidation and a source of empowerment for them

(via webelieveyou)



Jessica Rey presents the history of the evolution of the swimsuit including the origins of its design, how it has changed overtime and the post-feminist association of the bikini symbolizing female empowerment. She refers to neuro-scientific studies revealing how male brains react to images of scantily clad women versus images of women deemed modest and what the implications of the results are for women in society.

(Note: As the OP, I disagree with Rey’s approach to putting the onus on women to alter ourselves rather than to alter the male perception of women – brain wiring has plenty to do with socialization and if we worked against the culture that fuels men’s objectification of women, women’s clothing choices would matter far less in terms of how men perceive us and determine how to interact with us).

Jessica Rey - The Evolution of the Swim Suit

bolding mine

(via rampantmuses)


Got stopped on the street last week by an old man who stopped andsaid

"God damn.

do you know how pretty you are?”

I said “I have a boyfriend”

because that’s the biggest threat to most guys, another male.

But he kept going he said “I don’t care do you know how almighty cute and pretty you are?”

I said “Yeah. I do.”

He paused. “You do?”

I said “Hell yeah, I know I’m hot.”

And then I walked away.

He just didn’t know how to react.

Then he said “god damn,” all disgusted, stared at me, then walked away.

What I’m saying is

If it was really a compliment

you wouldn’t care if I was confident enough

to acknowledge that I already knew

I was attractive

before your gaze split me in two


To everyone who thinks that we’re “overreacting” to the character derailing rape scene on Game of Thrones, I’d like to issue the following invitation.

I’m putting the rest behind the cut, because this might be the most triggering thing I’ve ever written. If you don’t understand why people are so angry over this development, please do read on. .

Read More

(via thechocolatebrigade)



straight boys think girls can’t take compliments, and that’s ridiculous cause i’ve seen so many girls compliment each other, i’ve seen conversations & friendships blossom from girls complimenting each other in line, on the street, at school waiting for the bys, pretty much anywhere.

the problem is straight boys think sexual harassment & assault are compliments.



* Men who don’t respect consent don’t have a special right to keep that private.

* Men who threaten violence against women don’t have a special right to keep that private.

* Men who disregard a woman’s sexual agency to objectify her don’t have a special right to keep that private.

* Men who abuse women don’t have a special right to keep that private.

(via smitethepatriarchy)

When I was 12 (2 months shy of 13), I went to a school where a guy (a year older, but we were in the same class) kept grabbing my boobs in between class periods, and he once showed me his penis on webcam. The grabbing went on for two years, and was done in front of the whole class, where no one helped (they all just laughed). This was over 10 years ago, and I don’t really know if I should class it just as bullying, or if it was a form of sexual harassment, statutory rape… I really don’t know.

I just know at the time I was very ashamed of what happened, and didn’t tell my parents until just recently, but I never really knew why. I guess I thought no one thought it was a big deal, because none of my classmates ever said anything, they just laughed.

What do you think it was?


I think it’s a lot of things.  What you’ve described easily fits the definitions for sexual assault, sexual harassment, a violation, abuse, and bullying. Sending you an unsolicited dick pic could absolutely be called porn rape which is a thing though it’s not really something that’s legally actionable or a terminology that’s widespread, mostly because it’s so new. Ultimately you’re the only person who gets to define what you’ve experienced since you’re the only one who really knows what happened and how it felt and you’re the one who has to be comfortable with whatever you name it so I’m not able to really tell you what to call it.  Naming something is a powerful use of agency and it’s something that, in my experience, helps victims deal with their experiences.  You should feel free to use any or even all of the terms I just listed and anything else you can think of to describe what you went through.  Since it’s your life you’re the one who gets to be in control of what you call it, how you talk about it, even how you think about it.

No matter what, though, I hope you know that NONE of this was your fault in any way.  Abusers abuse, that’s what they do and when they’ve chosen a victim that’s pretty much all their is to it.  It’s not your fault he chose you and it’s not your fault nobody helped out when you needed it most.  The responsibility for his actions lays 100% with him, he chose to do this, nobody else.  I’m so so sorry you had to suffer through that and I really hope that you’re healing in the aftermath.  Getting past something like that takes so much and it can be so hard to do.  All of my love and sympathies to you and if you need to talk or anything like that I’m here. <3

Asker punkiraq Asks:
I live outside of Boston, can South Boston anon contact me? I'm by no means an expert but I can try my best to help.
rapeculturerealities rapeculturerealities Said:
Asker Anonymous Asks:
What gets me more than anything is stuff like; Chance of getting bit by a shark? 1 in 12,000-1,000,000, depending on exact location. Fear of sharks? 100% rational. Mistaken for hate of sharks? Hardly. Chance of getting raped, on average, regardless of gender or race or location? About 1 in 5. Fear of men? Let's not be paranoid man-hating asshole now!!!
rapeculturerealities rapeculturerealities Said: