It really all depends on where you are
I’ve always considered myself a feminist but I’ve never been overly exposed to an environment with anti-feminist ideals (also because I’ve lived in countries in which I didn’t speak the language so that could be part of my ignorance), and so I never really considered anti-feminist men a reality. Until yesterday. I read the comments at the bottom of an article (http://inthesetimes(.)com/article/5575/girls_gone_anti-feminist) and there is nothing more scary then men saying women ‘do not want to be in control’ and that women ‘had not earned respect’ or that men need ‘sluts’ but want to settle down with ‘nice women’ (what?? what right have you to judge a girl who sleeps around especially considering YOU slept with her. for goodness sake).
Sexism is a reality. And it is so fucking terrifying.
Another thing to consider is who reports verses who does not. Many people who are les/bi/gay/trans, PoC, immigrants, sex workers or otherwise marginalized groups don’t feel like they will be believed. It is so hard to get a true count of rape and sexual assault because the ways that we address the crime and the survivors skew the true data.
The laws vary from state to state, but they don’t reach nearly far enough when it comes to actually protecting people. A big hole in the law is that you can’t hold the website or internet service provider accountable, so once the pictures are out there, it’s hard to track the source and harder to prosecute those who refuse to stop re-posting the photos.
There is a presumption in our society that women’s bodies are there specifically for consumption. This carries over into female celebrities, whose image is commodified. They are believed to be property of the public and treated as such, making people feel entitled to all of them, including images that the general public was never meant to see.
I think, too, that some people relish the fact that these photos were meant to be private; such a public shaming of a celeb adds to their enjoyment of the spectacle.
This story brings to light some of the issues that women face in rape culture, including the commodification of our bodies, body shaming, sexuality shaming and victim-blaming.
(2/2)but women who fall outside the narrow definition of “good woman” such as WOC and LGBTQA women are always disproportionally targeted. Please recognize this fact, please recognize that lesbophobia, biphobia, racism and transphobia have intersected with misogyny to create this many lesbian, bisexual, WOC, and trans women victims. It’s so important to us that this problem is not made invisible. Yes rape is a gendered crime but it’s also used as a tool of oppression in many other ways.
How do you move on after being sexually assaulted, in my case it was unwanted groping? I’ve talked to friends—does it really take alot of time to recover? Is it okay that i’m feeling afraid of relationships especially the physical part? I’m trying to leave this in the past, but i realized this has changed me forever even though it was one small incident
The time it takes to recover all depends. There’s no set time period after which you are magically “better”. It might not always be a trip from Point A to Point B either; you may feel better for a while and then have a setback. It’s all up to you and the way that you feel is what’s right for you.
It’s OK to feel afraid about being physical in relationships. It’s good that you can recognize it because that will help you take steps to work with it. You make the rules, only do what you are comfortable with and don’t feel like you need to push your limits just to please someone else.
Be patient with yourself. Things will start to feel better, but only if you heal at your own pace.
It doesn’t matter how small the incident may seem, it was big enough to effect you, so it’s a big deal. Keep talking to your friends about it; allow them to give you support and help you build your confidence back up.
Do things that make you feel strong. Create art of some kind, play a sport, write something. Re-learn how to be comfortable in your own skin and when you’re ready, how to enjoy being close to others.
You’ll get there. Just take your time!
The status quo in rape culture is that survivors are routinely discredited. This makes recovery so much harder than it already is. Many survivors never share with anyone that they were raped because the fear of being called a liar or being blamed for the assault is so great.
If you tell someone and they try to discredit your story, the thing you need to realize is that they are wrong. Keep trying and talking to people until you find someone who will help you get the support that you need. It’s not easy to do after having your trust broken, but it’s necessary.
Don’t let someone’s ignorance about rape keep you from getting the help that you need to heal.
Find people who will stand up for you. Speak your truth about what happened despite what other people say. You know what happened to you and you deserve to be believed.
Get the people who blame you out of your life. They aren’t healthy for you and won’t help you grow. Trust in yourself and those who believe you and use that strength to get through.
We believe you!
It depends on the guidelines your state sets aside regarding age of consent, but in general, it’s not statutory rape.