Personal Experiences with Rape Culture

This is the real controversy at the heart of the “culture war” on which women’s bodies are the battlefield. Although mothers are subjected to their own “truckload of judgmental bullshit from people who have no business interfering,” as Hortense put it, women who choose not to have children, before or after becoming pregnant, are still believed to be immature, naive, misguided, mentally ill, untrustworthy, and/or downright evil. There is relentless pressure from society, the media, and healthcare professionals — not to mention religious fundamentalists and the anti-choice movement — to keep women from making an informed, rational decision not to devote our bodies and futures to childbirth and child rearing. As Vernon says, “Childlessness is going to be a feature in many of our lives; we need to start seeing it as a choice, a valid option, rather than a failing. We certainly need it not to be taboo.” But as long as we don’t, as long as we keep pretending that the debate is only about “killing babies” and not about whether women should have the basic right to control our own fertility, that common ground will remain elusive.